wikipedia | The concept "of 'limerence' provides a particular carving up of the semantic domain of love,"[7] and is an attempt at a scientific study into the nature of love. Limerence is considered as a cognitive
and emotional state of being emotionally attached or even obsessed with
another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized
by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings—a near-obsessive
form of romantic love.[8] For Tennov, "sexual attraction is an essential component of limerence...the limerent is a potential sex partner."[9]
Limerence is sometimes also interpreted as infatuation,
or what is colloquially known as a "crush"; however, in common speech,
infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolation from
insufficient information and is usually short-lived. Tennov notes how
limerence "may dissolve soon after its initiation, as in an early
teenage buzz-centered crush,"[10] but is more concerned with the point when "limerent bonds are characterized by 'entropy' crystallization as described by Stendhal in his 1821 treatise On Love,
where a new love infatuation perceptually begins to transform ...
attractive characteristics are exaggerated and unattractive
characteristics are given little or no attention....[creating] a limerent object'."
According to Tennov, there are at least two types of love: a) limerence, which she describes as (inter alia) "loving attachment"; and b) "loving affection," the bond that exists between an individual and his or her parents and children.[11]
She notes, however, that one form may evolve into the other: 'those
whose limerence was replaced by affectional bonding with the same
partner might say..."We were very much in love when we married; today we
love each other very much"'.[12] The distinction is comparable to that drawn by ethologists 'between the pair-forming and pair-maintaining functions of sexual activity',[6]
just as 'the attachment of the attachment theorists is very similar to
the emotional reciprocation longed for in Tennov's limerence, and each
is linked to sexuality'.[13]
Limerence is characterized by intrusive thinking
and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the
disposition of the limerent object towards the individual, and can be
experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Basically, it is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love, even to the point of addictive-type
behavior. Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or
admiration for someone. Limerence can be difficult to understand for
those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often dismissed by
nonlimerents as ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.[1]
Tennov differentiates between limerence and other emotions by asserting that love
involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling. While
limerence does not require it, those concerns may certainly be
incorporated. Affection
and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person,
irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas
limerence deeply desires return, but it remains unaltered whether it is
returned or not. Physical contact with the object is neither essential
nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one
experiencing sexual attraction.[citation needed]
Where early, unhealthy attachment patterns or trauma influence
limerence, the limerent object may be construed as an idealization of
the figure(s) involved in the original unhealthy attachment or trauma.
Lack of reciprocation may, in such instances, actually serve to
reinforce lessons learned in earlier, unhealthy bonding experiences, and
hence to strengthen the limerence.
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