Wednesday, March 18, 2020

That Lemony Fresh Stash Of "Finger Lickin Good" Wipes Is Now STRAIGHT MONEY!!!


fox5ny |  One police department in Oregon posted a reminder on their Facebook page, asking the public to not call for an emergency if they run out of toilet paper due to the coronavirus outbreak.

 "It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this," police in Newport, Oregon wrote. "Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance."

The post then pointed out the different methods used throughout history before suggesting other items that could be used in lieu of "your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue."

Among their suggestions: grocery store receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, magazine pages, cotton balls and even leaves.

"Be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper," the post concluded.