Thursday, September 12, 2013

sammy sosa is a vampire...,

inquistr | Sammy Sosa may be best known for being a major league baseball player but we now have photographic evidence of his other occupation: Blood sucker. Yes, it appears that Sammy Sosa is a vampire. 

Don’t believe me? OK, let’s do a little test. 

Close your eyes and picture a vampire. Do you see a man with a sickly white face? A large widow’s peak hanging down from a carefully sculpted oily mas of slicked back hair? A tailored suit with a blood red tie? Is your vampire standing next to an unsuspecting pretty woman? OK, now check out the photo of Sammy Sosa courtesy of Yahoo!’s Jeff Passan. 

 Widow’s peak? Check. Pale face? Check. Tailored suit? Blood red tie? Unsuspecting victim? Check, check check. Sammy Sosa is a vampire. There’s just no other explanation. Except for this one: NESN reports that Sosa has been experimenting with “skin conditioning” procedures since 2009 to give himself lighter skin. The good news is that the process seems to be working. The bad news is that it has made Sosa looking like a vampire.

 The former Cubs slugger has kept himself out of the spotlight since he retired in 2007. Some people speculate that Sosa has avoided the spotlight because of the steroid issues that stained his career. But I think we all know the real reason: He’ll turn to stone if he’s hit with direct light.
Sammy Sosa may be best known for being a major league baseball player but we now have photographic evidence of his other occupation: Blood sucker. Yes, it appears that Sammy Sosa is a vampire. Don’t believe me? OK, let’s do a little test. Close your eyes and picture a vampire. Do you see a man with a sickly white face? A large widow’s peak hanging down from a carefully sculpted oily mas of slicked back hair? A tailored suit with a blood red tie? Is your vampire standing next to an unsuspecting pretty woman? OK, now check out the photo of Sammy Sosa courtesy of Yahoo!’s Jeff Passan. Widow’s peak? Check. Pale face? Check. Tailored suit? Blood red tie? Unsuspecting victim? Check, check check. Sammy Sosa is a vampire. There’s just no other explanation. Except for this one: NESN reports that Sosa has been experimenting with “skin conditioning” procedures since 2009 to give himself lighter skin. The good news is that the process seems to be working. The bad news is that it has made Sosa looking like a vampire. The former Cubs slugger has kept himself out of the spotlight since he retired in 2007. Some people speculate that Sosa has avoided the spotlight because of the steroid issues that stained his career. But I think we all know the real reason: He’ll turn to stone if he’s hit with direct light.
Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/946021/sammy-sosa-is-a-vampire/#Bqm4Juu2xcVyRDuY.99
Sammy Sosa may be best known for being a major league baseball player but we now have photographic evidence of his other occupation: Blood sucker. Yes, it appears that Sammy Sosa is a vampire. Don’t believe me? OK, let’s do a little test. Close your eyes and picture a vampire. Do you see a man with a sickly white face? A large widow’s peak hanging down from a carefully sculpted oily mas of slicked back hair? A tailored suit with a blood red tie? Is your vampire standing next to an unsuspecting pretty woman? OK, now check out the photo of Sammy Sosa courtesy of Yahoo!’s Jeff Passan. Widow’s peak? Check. Pale face? Check. Tailored suit? Blood red tie? Unsuspecting victim? Check, check check. Sammy Sosa is a vampire. There’s just no other explanation. Except for this one: NESN reports that Sosa has been experimenting with “skin conditioning” procedures since 2009 to give himself lighter skin. The good news is that the process seems to be working. The bad news is that it has made Sosa looking like a vampire. The former Cubs slugger has kept himself out of the spotlight since he retired in 2007. Some people speculate that Sosa has avoided the spotlight because of the steroid issues that stained his career. But I think we all know the real reason: He’ll turn to stone if he’s hit with direct light.
Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/946021/sammy-sosa-is-a-vampire/#Bqm4Juu2xcVyRDuY.99

2 comments:

makheru bradley said...

It's about time for Sammy to start sawing on that nose and those lips. If he wants to be white, don't stop with the skin. All of the neuromelanin has obviously already left the brain.

CNu said...

The steroids alone tell the tale of just how far the Count is willing to go. Interestingly to me, I have a good friend who gathered up his surreptitious digital currencies, went in hard on the silk road, and about a year later, had completely remade his physical being using steroids. Two aspects of that process horrified me.


1. He had to end each monthly cycle with a course of injections to counteract the withering away of his own testicles (because the body doesn't differentiate between testosterone and its anabolic derivatives)


2. A month or so without these hormone supplements, and he would begin to visibly deflate like a tissue balloon.


The upshot of this cat's hormonal reconstruction (self-mutilation) - was that he dated a bevy of comparatively much more fit and attractive women, and, he became more productive and successful in his work as a programmer.