He had written before with Olga de Hartmann. Dr. Stjoernval, and C.S. Nott sitting beside him, they acting as a sort of negative pole in the 'battery' set up. But with his wife and mother Gurdjieff suffered unconsciously. And so he elicits the use of unconscious suffering as well as conscious.
While "watching the children around the Christmas tree and their unrestrained joy," Gurdjieffsays he comes to the recognition "of the full possibility of attaining his aims through the forces of the inner-world struggle."
Pages 84 and 119, Struggle of the Magicians William Patrick Patterson