theroot | Hey, man, we didn’t do an explainer last week, but I really need to
talk to you about this Boyce Watkins thing that is bubbling on woke
Twitter.
Sure! Earlier this week, a video of a screenshot of what
seems to be an online conference call began circumnavigating the
inboxes of the woke black internet. The video shows two men having a
conversation about Boyce Watkins, Ph.D., and his ...
Wait, bruh. Who the hell is Boyce Watkins?
Watkins
is the less charismatic Umar Johnson of black financial independence
and wealth. His Black Business School is a virtual version of Umar
Johnson’s Kente Cloth Hogwarts for Black Boy Magic, except, of course,
that Watkins’ really exists. While Watkins’ educational products seem to
be the equivalent of freshman-level community college business-theory
courses with a little Creflo Dollar sprinkled in, remember, the BBS is
100 percent black. (Remember this point. It is important.)
If I were still using the term “Hotep” as a pejorative—which I am not—I
would call Watkins a level 3, low-ranking Ankhologist, perfect for
easing black people who are not particularly educated or experienced in
Watkins’ area of kente-clothians. He is a perfect conduit conning people
into becoming practitioners of entry-level dashikinomics. Plus,
Watkins’ school is 100 percent black, meaning that you don’t have to
worry about any Caucasian shenanigans creeping into play.
OK, now back to the video.
So the videos show Charles Wu bragging about JARVIS and the Digital Underground and how ...
Slow down! Who is Charles Wu? Is Jarvis one of the lesser-known members of the Wu-Tang Clan? And what does Shock G and Humpty have to do with any of this?
Sorry. It’s just that there’s a lot to cover.
The
Digital Underground, or “the D.U.,” as it is called, is not a reference
to the ’90s rap group. It is a course in Watkins’ Black Business School.
For $2,999 (or the low price of $499 per month),
instead of reading Wikipedia and doing a couple of Google searches, you
can have Watkins teach you everything he knows about altcoin,
blockchain and bitcoin (which, coincidentally, seems to not be much. But
for those who don’t know anything, it seems like a lot. After
all, his name has “Dr.” right in it!) Plus, you can trust Watkins. He’s
leading black people toward their “Financial Juneteenth” (his actual
term). He’s a solid dude.
Oh, did I mention the school was 100 percent black?
